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“Stanley’s Christmas List”
Something to consider when one of your deadbeat friends is crashing at your place and won’t leave…if you kick him out, he just might hide in your attic while conducting raids on the living spaces of...
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Fat Ninja is a Laughingstock Even in the Context of Other Ridiculous Wannabe...
Look out, Bernie Madoff victims! Another master criminal is plying his trade in the lap of luxury that many of you call home! Police in Palm Beach, Florida are hunting a ninja. A fat ninja who has yet...
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Back away from the Mazda, goat-sorcerer!
Abracadabra, bitches. This may LOOK like an innocent, humble goat to you. But that’s because you aren’t privy to the sorcery-detection abilities of Nigerian vigilantes! This is a story that’s rapidly...
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Run Like A Kakapo Out of Control
Two prisoners in New Zealand are facing fresh charges after their attempt to flee from police escort outside a courthouse ended in complete failure. Interestingly enough, the best writeup of this...
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Yes Virginia, There Is A Hot Wheels Fetish
This is a pretty funny story in and of itself, courtesy of the SHAWNEE (KS) DISPATCH: Shawnee police Thursday arrested an Olathe man for allegedly masturbating in the toy aisle of Wal-Mart. Police...
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Mono County Police Work: Hunt, Fish, Ride, Snowmobile, Bust Some Idiots!
Mono County, California, is located along the Nevada border. It’s a desolate place known mostly as the locale of Mammoth Mountain Ski Resort, an epic winter destination where the slopes are tasty and...
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Fusing in Lust with Gullible Sugar Mamas
The 44-year-old playboy researched his targets diligently before approaching potential victims in luxury hotels, expensive spa retreats and chic ski resorts. His encounters with rich but lonely women...
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The Laziest Bigamist
Charles Clemens Jr. lived in an Overland Park, KS apartment complex with his wife of two decades. Apparently life got a little dull or what have you, because he then wooed a second middle-aged lady...
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Dad Fled Through The Bathroom Window
To the storied annals of wack criminals and poor parents, let us add another fetching banner… A 48-year-old father of a teenager apparently jumped out of a first-floor window when police broke up an...
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Petty Crimes in A Small Town: The Police Beat of Maynard, MA
Inspired by our look at the “Back Talk” section of the Lowell (MA) Sun, frequent contributor Vicious Rumors returns with a sampling of amusingly banal items from the police log of his hometown,...
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